The Past Three Months...Yup

Oh hey there!! Turns out, I still have a blog :) Life just got a little bit crazy there. For those who don't know, I started dancing again, and was part of the Nutcracker this year! I had my fair share of things to overcome, with the broken foot, and work and the cold. But it was one of the greatest years of Nutcracker I've ever had. I loved every painful, bloody, sweaty minute of it. I am so lucky to be able to dance, and do what I love, and to be able to dance it with my little sister!

We might have had a lot of fun with the rehearsals...I got wear the HUGE dress!!!



I also made a lot of new friends, and was reminded of how extremely happy dancing makes me!! I am excited to continue dancing with the studio! That has been mostly consuming my life :) Thanksgiving was great, spent it up in Idaho with my family, and loved it! Then Christmas, it was amazing. My family got a new couch, and it is huge. 18 feet huge. It has been host to our bodies many a Sunday since then. And many other days ;) We went sledding at the park, and I found a new game!! BANANAGRAMS!!





Don't worry, I realized I spelled JOIN worng...I just didn't realize until I took the picture, after the game was over...but hey, at least I didn't have to give up a win!! I came in second...of two. Over all, the past few months have been amazing. I am so excited for 2013! So far, I've had a super nasty cold...but it's got to go up from here! I go to Denver for a week for work, and can't wait!! I don't want to say I'll write soon, because I don't think that I'll do that...But-I do want to be a little bit better at it. Well, that's all! Love you!!

Fall Is Here

Oh my goodness!! Fall is here, and I am so excited!! The leaves are changing, and most importantly--FOOTBALL SEASON!!! I love football, and love when the teams I cheer for are winning. So far, it has been a 50/50. I got to go to the BSU game last weekend, with my family in Idaho, and I loved it!!



 It was so much fun!! I went with my cousins and aunts and uncles. I love my family up in Idaho, and BUS!!



The Ute's beat BYU, which was amazing!! BSU also won this week, as well as the Colt's!! It is definately easier to be a fan of those teams when they win. But I am still a fan of them even when they don't. Other than football, fall brings leaves changing colors, crisp mornings and evenings, sweaters, jeans and hot chocolate!! I love this time of year! It also means family time! Thanksgiving, and Christmas are right around the corner. Oh man this year has FLOWN by! Another great thing--the mountains change. I really am blessed to live in such a beautiful place. Ok, that is all for now, I'll let you all enjoy this season :) More to come soon!!

Summer Fun

Hello there! Sorry for the long summer of silence from me. Not much has happened since my last post. I went to powell for a week with my family. That was sooo much fun! The water and weather were perfect the ENTIRE time :)

We had so much fun :) I am glad that we all got to go and spend time together to start our summer off! This summer I also got to spend a lot of time going to Seven Peaks Water Park-with Alexa and anyone else that was willing to come.

Our family also added two new members; Tayla and Luna. Tayla is a beautiful 3 year old husky/shepard mix, and Luna is a beautiful 2 year old whity husky. They are two of the most amazing dogs in the entire world, and I'm glad they are part of our family.

The most recent adventure I went on was to Disneyland with Kaitlynn and my mom. We left on a Friday at about 6pm, got to California at 4am, woke up to spend almost 15 hours at Disneyland and California Adventure, got back to the hotel around 12:30am, only to wake up and drive home Sunday. It was a fun filled quick trip to the happiest place on earth.

We went to the all new Cars Land!! We fastpassed the new ride and it was AMAZING!!! I am glad that we waited in the line for 15 minutes instead of the 3 hours everyone else was.

 Mom spent the morning running at the beach, and getting Vince's sauce so that we could have spaghetti for dinner Sunday, then came to spend the night with us at Disneyland!! We had sooo much fun :) It was not crowded for a Saturday in August at all.

Over all, my summer was fun packed and a lot of fun!! I can't wait for what the rest of the year holds for me. But I'm grateful for my family, and ready for fall!! Bring on the football!!

Hello Again

Hello again!! For those of you who haven't asked, or don't already know...I am divorced. There is obviously a lot of back story, but I have learned a lot from this experience, and continue to learn. I am in a happier, healthier place then I have been for a while. I know that I have a lot to do to get back, but I'm slowly getting there. I have discovered that I have a hard time talking to people who don't know that I've been married. I feel like if I tell them about my past, I am judged very quickly, and that people don't take the time to get to know me. Just the label that I've put on my head. I am working through this though, and I know that over time it will get better, but for now...I'll stick to what I've been doing. I have started to see movies again, and I can't wait to start dancing! I went to ZUMBA this week, and I loved it!! I can't wait to go back :) I also got to go to Bakersfield for work, and that was an incredible experience! I was very grateful for the opportunity, and the change of pace and scenery. I'm even more happy that I am home though...it's kind of like an armpit of the state of California. I think that I want to move out with my sister, and can't wait to see how that goes. I will be sure to let you know! Since I've been home, I've also spent a lot of time with a very tender mercy from the Lord. My cousin's little girl Alexa. I adore her and I'm so thankful to have her in my life. She is such a blessing to me, and I hope that I can tell her one day!!

That is the update for now, and I'll write again soon!!

Hope

One of my new year's resolutions, if you will, was to be more honest when someone asked me how I was doing. I can usually just put on a happy face, and say, "I'm so fantastic!!" But for the past few months, that has been a bold faced lie. I am not fine. I'm living in a crazy world, and I feel like I will never be able to find my way back to the top of my life. It is dark, and scary, and I am doing everything I can possibly do. I have so many thoughts in my head, I don't know if I'm actually thinking them, or if I'm being guided. I find myself driving deep in meditation, listening to hymns to be sure that I'll know what to do. I am terrified for what the future holds, but I know that I can get through it. I'll come out stronger, and closer to my Father in Heaven. I know that as I rely on Him, and put all my faith in Him. I will be able to get back on top of my life. These posts are probably going to get a lot more personal then all of you are used to, so be prepared. The last year of my life has been one of the hardest I can remember. It started out pretty great in January, then onto a pretty great February, March and April. May comes and all of my sisters are in a terrible car accident. Which was more emotionally devistating to me than anything. As I was getting over that, I found out that it is very hard for me to have kids. Blow number two. All my life all that I wanted to be was a mom, and to have someone tell you that the chances of you having kids is slim to none. That is a lot to take in. Only this is physical and emotional pain. The next blow to my life came in September. This caused the most emotional pain I can ever remember. It literally threw me for a loop. I am still working through the latest blow. I know that I will be able to, but for now, it is daily emotional pain. The damage done by the latest trial in my life has been the hardest to repair. I am working through it, but it is going to take some time. So for everyone who wishes to know how I am, I am not fine. I'm damaged almost to the point of no repair, and life is fairly difficult. I know it will get better, I don't need you to tell me that, just tell me you love me. I'll get back to being fantastic as soon as I am able, but believe me, I miss it more then anyone else. To top off the worst year of my life, my family got a puppy for Christmas, and we had to put him down due to a condition known as parvo. It is a terrrible disease that kills animals, and there is nothing one can do to help. I know I sound like a complainer, but I just felt like getting it all out in the open. This year will be better, I just have to get through the storm.

The Holidays

That's right folks. We are approaching the holiday season. Or I guess that we have approached, and are living in the holiday season. We have so much to be thankful for! This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for a lot of things, but I'm especially thankful that my dad's brothers and sister will all be here in Utah!! My dad's family doesn't get together as often as my mom's family, and I am soooo excited! I love my family. Immediate, extended, adopted. You are all great :) I can't wait to put pictures up and show you all how amazing we are! As excited as I am about my family coming, I must confess that I miss dancing more this year then I ever have before. I am getting a little depressed by it. I think almost every day about what I would be doing in Nutcracker, and when my rehearsals would be, and that we are quickly getting to the dress rehearsal time, and then show time. I don't know why it's so hard this year-I haven't done Nutcracker in almost five years, and I still can't see the ballet without shedding a few tears. I think it's a sign that it is time to return to dance. So I am thinking about going back in January after the crazy Nutcracker time is over. I will keep you posted on how that goes though. That is pretty much all I've got for today, not a whole lot is going on in my life, just working :) I am also learning how to play the viola, and that is pretty neat. Well I will leave you with that, and I'll be back next week with an update from Thanksgiving!! YAY FOOD!!

Family Times

This past weekend, my mom completed her first Ragnar!! We are all so proud of her, and sad that none of us were there to support her at the finish line, so in return, we are going to do a ragnar together!! That's right, we are going to run a very long run just to say that we can. Today we also got to go see my great grandparents. They are very very old, but they still try to sing the hymns, support each other, and are very tender together. It is hard to grow old, but they got to do it together, and they'll have eternity to be together. I couldn't find a picture of both of them but this is my Grandma Fay at my wedding in 2009. She doesn't look this way anymore and it breaks my heart. I love my grandparents very much.This past week I also got to visit Robyn in Logan!! To prove it I bought a sweat shirt. Obviosuly. We went to her piano lesson, then to the campus...which is pretty neat and where I got said sweatshirt. Then to dinner at Angie's. They have this thing called "Cleaning the Sink" where they give you this.....Then they let you go at it. Turns out, that vanilla ice cream and banana's are not a good combination for me. So we didn't beat the sink this time. But I'll be back. I'll be back. We then went on a walk to the beautiful Logan temple. Right as we were leaving Meegan's house, the lights turned on. It was a perfect way to end an amazing day. I love my family very much and am thankful for them in my life every day.