Hope

One of my new year's resolutions, if you will, was to be more honest when someone asked me how I was doing. I can usually just put on a happy face, and say, "I'm so fantastic!!" But for the past few months, that has been a bold faced lie. I am not fine. I'm living in a crazy world, and I feel like I will never be able to find my way back to the top of my life. It is dark, and scary, and I am doing everything I can possibly do. I have so many thoughts in my head, I don't know if I'm actually thinking them, or if I'm being guided. I find myself driving deep in meditation, listening to hymns to be sure that I'll know what to do. I am terrified for what the future holds, but I know that I can get through it. I'll come out stronger, and closer to my Father in Heaven. I know that as I rely on Him, and put all my faith in Him. I will be able to get back on top of my life. These posts are probably going to get a lot more personal then all of you are used to, so be prepared. The last year of my life has been one of the hardest I can remember. It started out pretty great in January, then onto a pretty great February, March and April. May comes and all of my sisters are in a terrible car accident. Which was more emotionally devistating to me than anything. As I was getting over that, I found out that it is very hard for me to have kids. Blow number two. All my life all that I wanted to be was a mom, and to have someone tell you that the chances of you having kids is slim to none. That is a lot to take in. Only this is physical and emotional pain. The next blow to my life came in September. This caused the most emotional pain I can ever remember. It literally threw me for a loop. I am still working through the latest blow. I know that I will be able to, but for now, it is daily emotional pain. The damage done by the latest trial in my life has been the hardest to repair. I am working through it, but it is going to take some time. So for everyone who wishes to know how I am, I am not fine. I'm damaged almost to the point of no repair, and life is fairly difficult. I know it will get better, I don't need you to tell me that, just tell me you love me. I'll get back to being fantastic as soon as I am able, but believe me, I miss it more then anyone else. To top off the worst year of my life, my family got a puppy for Christmas, and we had to put him down due to a condition known as parvo. It is a terrrible disease that kills animals, and there is nothing one can do to help. I know I sound like a complainer, but I just felt like getting it all out in the open. This year will be better, I just have to get through the storm.

The Holidays

That's right folks. We are approaching the holiday season. Or I guess that we have approached, and are living in the holiday season. We have so much to be thankful for! This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for a lot of things, but I'm especially thankful that my dad's brothers and sister will all be here in Utah!! My dad's family doesn't get together as often as my mom's family, and I am soooo excited! I love my family. Immediate, extended, adopted. You are all great :) I can't wait to put pictures up and show you all how amazing we are! As excited as I am about my family coming, I must confess that I miss dancing more this year then I ever have before. I am getting a little depressed by it. I think almost every day about what I would be doing in Nutcracker, and when my rehearsals would be, and that we are quickly getting to the dress rehearsal time, and then show time. I don't know why it's so hard this year-I haven't done Nutcracker in almost five years, and I still can't see the ballet without shedding a few tears. I think it's a sign that it is time to return to dance. So I am thinking about going back in January after the crazy Nutcracker time is over. I will keep you posted on how that goes though. That is pretty much all I've got for today, not a whole lot is going on in my life, just working :) I am also learning how to play the viola, and that is pretty neat. Well I will leave you with that, and I'll be back next week with an update from Thanksgiving!! YAY FOOD!!

Family Times

This past weekend, my mom completed her first Ragnar!! We are all so proud of her, and sad that none of us were there to support her at the finish line, so in return, we are going to do a ragnar together!! That's right, we are going to run a very long run just to say that we can. Today we also got to go see my great grandparents. They are very very old, but they still try to sing the hymns, support each other, and are very tender together. It is hard to grow old, but they got to do it together, and they'll have eternity to be together. I couldn't find a picture of both of them but this is my Grandma Fay at my wedding in 2009. She doesn't look this way anymore and it breaks my heart. I love my grandparents very much.This past week I also got to visit Robyn in Logan!! To prove it I bought a sweat shirt. Obviosuly. We went to her piano lesson, then to the campus...which is pretty neat and where I got said sweatshirt. Then to dinner at Angie's. They have this thing called "Cleaning the Sink" where they give you this.....Then they let you go at it. Turns out, that vanilla ice cream and banana's are not a good combination for me. So we didn't beat the sink this time. But I'll be back. I'll be back. We then went on a walk to the beautiful Logan temple. Right as we were leaving Meegan's house, the lights turned on. It was a perfect way to end an amazing day. I love my family very much and am thankful for them in my life every day.

A Time To Be Thankful

This post is going to be about how thankful I am for so many things in my life. I have been in a bit of a rough patch this past month, and as I look back, I can see so many things I am thankful for. I am thankful for my family, and for my parents especially. I am thankful that my father holds and honors his priesthood, so that I can get blessings from him at any hour of the day. I am thankful for my sisters and the example they are to me in my life. I am thankful for the gospel and the roll it plays in my life, for general conference, and the opportunity I have every six months to listen to the leaders of our church. I am thankful for my job, and the friends that I have made there. I am thankful for the trials that we chose to go through before we came to this earth. Life isn't always smiles and sunshine. We go through darkness so that we can appreciate the sunshine that much more. I am also very thankful for my testimony. I know that this church is true, and that life isn't as easy or good without it in my life. I know that the Book of Mormon is true, and that all we have to do is read it and apply its principles, and our lives will be blessed. I know that Thomas S Monson is the prophet of the church today, and that he leads and guides us where we need to go, all we have to do is follow. I know that Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer. He gave his life so that we could come here and turn to him. He knows every pain and sorrow that we will ever have. I am so indebted to Him for His willingness to suffer for my sake, and to take away my pain. As we go through this year, and the rest of our lives, may we look for the things to be thankful for. They are all around us, all we have to do is look. Life isn't always going to be easy, but I know that with the gospel in our lives, and a different outlook on what we have in this world, it will be easier. The darkness will end and we will again see the light.

Updates from September!!

Hello all :) I just thought I'd pop on, do some blog stalking, and write one of my own!! The summer is quickly coming to an end. That being said, I'll let you know how it's been going for us :) Jared started school again, and I am teaching ballroom again. But I must back track a little more. Two of our best friends got married!! That's right, Alan and Katie Hopes are officially married!! Aren't they adorable!!

They had a very beautiful wedding, and I am so excited for the two of them to be together for eternity :) Other then the newly wed's wedding, things have been pretty much the same. Work, school, sleep. I have taken a few trips to the zoo with my beautiful cousin Alexa. She just turned three!! Today, we also went to the aquarium, and saw penguins, sharks, a sea turtle!! I love the aquarium, and I'm so glad I got to spend today with the coolest little girl I know. :) We also play with chalk, and had dino nuggets for lunch!! Spending the day with her made me realized how excited I am to be a mom, but how not ready I am. I will be a mom one day, but not yet. For now I will just continue to play with Alexa.

To end our summer of 2011, we, the Burnett's--Jared and Kristen--and the Abrahamson's, are going to Lake Powell. Minus Megan...She gets to stay home and work. I'm sure I'll post about Powell when we get home, but utnil then :) I hope we all enjoy the last little bit of the sweet summer weather we have!!

14 & 15

I know this is random, but here are 14 and 15 for the blog challenge!! Fourteen is a picture of you and your family :) This picture isn't recent, but it is me and Jared!! And that is our family. One day there will be more people, but for now-we got this! Fifteen is put your iPod on shuffle and list the first ten songs. Are you ready for this?!

1. The Polar Express

2. Switch by Will Smith

3. Heaven Forbid by The Fray

4. Tied Together With A Smile by Taylor Swift

5. Be Prepared-from The Lion King

6. Dancing Through Life from Wicked

7. The Authority Song by Jimmy Eat World

8. Lothlorian from LOTR

9. Throb by Janet Jackson

10. I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face by Chris Botti

Number 10 threw me off a little because we just went to his concert last night at the Deer Valley Summer Music Festival. He is such a talented man, and I'm very lucky to have heard him share his gift and love of music several times. Well this has been an exciting blog and I'll be back later to update you yet again.

SummeR AdventureS

Well hello there :) This is a post about our summer adventures! Even though they might not seem that cool to anyone else...Our summer started with Disneyland, which you know about. We decided to stay home for Memorial Day, but my family went down to Powell. On the way home I got a phone call from my dad telling me my sisters and cousins had been in an accident. They were in the excursion, and are all fine. The only causality was Big Red. We miss her and think about her every day, but in the end, she protected what was most important, and gave her life for my family. I know it might seem strange how attached we are to her, but hey, she is family. She always gave her best, and it proved true again when she kept my sisters and cousins safe.

After the accident, my summer really had nowhere to go but up, and up it went!! I was lucky enough to go to the most beautiful Alabama in June for Distinguished Young Women!! It was a great experience, and I fell in love with the city and people of Mobile. I cannot wait to go back. They have amazing clouds, and I have a strange obsession with clouds. Below is a picture of the city of Mobile.

Next time I go, I'll be sure to get more pictures of how beautiful Mobile really is. For the forth of July, we went to Idaho with my famliy. We took a day trip to the majestic Yellowstone, and that was a lot of fun. We also got to go to the Rexburg parade, and the rodeo!! I love rodeo's!! We also spent a lot of time with my cousins, and I had a blast!! I never get to see them, so spending time with them is precious. I really enjoy Yellowstone, and I hadn't been there in a while. This is Jared and I at the gyser basin.

We spent a lot of time in the car...but we made the most of it in our new excursion-who we are pretty sure is named Red the White. (we are nerds...)

This is us at the falls in Yellowstone, and it is beautiful! I love looking over the edge at the water. It is amazing how powerful water really is.

This very last one was taken at Mesa Falls. It literally took my breath away. I never cease to be amazed by the beauty that is all around us. It is insane to think about how much of the beauty of the earth is still unseen.

Well that is our summer so far :) We are going to the Chris Botti concert tomorrow night, and I'll be sure to take pictures!! I love him, and I can't wait!! We have also been keeping ourselves busy with work, and Jared with work and school. OH!! And movies :) we still take time to enjoy seeing movies together-in fact, we are going to see Captain America tonight! I am so excited!! I'll write more later!